7.16.2007 – Logan, Utah
The encounter is quite foggy though several were present. I believe Beerfoot left his stash of stolen items in my apartment after his escapades as well. A group of artist working for an opera company was enjoying some social drinks getting to know eachother as many were from all over and had gathered to work together for the summer. I am so certain that it wasn’t just Beerfoot it had to be him and his entourage of accomplices because out of no where we heard a voice telling us to explore the closed campus of Utah state university since it was the summer. There is no recollection of the time the voice revealed itself and there seemed to be 3 groups that all heard this voice at the same time resulting in approximately 15 people though some seemed to disappear as the time passed. Out of no where like soldiers we were army crawling across the commons area of grass to escape from being seen by Beerfoot. We popped up at a green house to which we can only assume beerfoot was growing sone wacky backy because there was a huge shadow in the green house and a incredibly strong odor of skunks…maybe that was just his cologne but anywho it definitely caused our memory to be erased for a time period again! I can only imagine that Beerfoot was rummaging through classrooms and offices even restricted areas and there must have been unlocked doors everywhere because somewhere around 5 am two strange men appeared much like the men in black from behind double doors that magically appeared and began questioning our presence. At this point 3 people remained from our original group and a fourth person was discovered hiding in cabinets inside a classroom and was deeply confused because he was convinced he was in his room- he even had managed to have his signature food that he said someone left on a desk for him. He said he left a kind note thanking them for the ramen noodles. But back to the men in black… they very staunchly asked why were were there and though none of us really knew, I could faintly hear beerfoot tell me to say “we are on a scavenger hunt!” And this is how I know for a fact it was beerfoot – the men in black asked for our items that we collected on our scavenger hunt as proof we were telling the truth and they one by one started coming out of my bra! A business card, a screwdriver…the tool not the drink- a coin, post it notes, gloves, a lighter, book of matches, invitation, ink pen, pencil, sharpies. The men in black stopped us there and said that’s enough you cannot be here. We don’t know how we made it back home but by the time we woke up in our apartment there were several more items including a 5 ft long 1/2 in metal pipe.. rumor is that you can smell beerfoots cologne through that metal pipe still to this day. Wouldn’t you know that this was before everyone was attached to a cellphone and social media so there is absolutely zero photographic evidence. But trust me beerfoot is alive and well in Logan Utah.
*Researchers have long theorized that Beerfoot communicates through a form of telepathic suggestion known as Mindspeak – a consciousness-based transmission that, according to some accounts, becomes significantly more effective in subjects who have been socially lubricated. The simultaneous experience reported by three separate groups suggests either an unusually powerful broadcast or outside assistance.
The greenhouse incident is particularly telling. The distinctive aroma reported is consistent with either I.P. Ape (Beerfoot’s Florida-based Skunk Ape associate known for his pungent calling card) or the Grassman of Ohio, whose more agricultural interests have been well documented in the tri-state area. Given the university setting, our money is on Grassman. Tommy Chupacabra’s involvement is also suspected, as the unlocked doors and missing items bear his signature.
As for the Men in Black, we have no comment at this time.
Avoid closed campuses, watch your ramen, and Guard Your Beer.