BEERFOOT OUTFITTERS
UNOFFICIAL ENCOUNTER REPORT
Classification: Suspected Beerfoot Activity
Witness Count: One (1) primary, several secondary unaware parties
Setting: Private residence, wooded backyard perimeter
Date of Occurrence: Approx. two years prior (exact date unconfirmed)

I was visiting friends, Hugh and Sara, for a small informal gathering that escalated, organically, into a backyard campfire. Alcohol consumption had been ongoing since earlier in the afternoon, which complicated later efforts to collect firewood from the wooded area adjacent to the property after nightfall. Recent rainfall had left the ground damp and the available kindling less cooperative than anticipated.

While venturing farther into the tree line than initially planned, attempting to balance armfuls of sticks without sacrificing the beer still in my possession, I experienced a distinct sensation of being observed. Visibility was poor. I could not confirm the presence of another person or animal. A sudden snapped twig somewhere in the darkness accelerated my decision to retreat toward the fire pit and the relative safety of the group.

The fire was eventually established. Conversation followed. Marshmallows were burned beyond usefulness. Additional drinks were consumed.

At some point later, I found myself seated in a vacant swing hanging from one of the surrounding trees. While listening to the fire crackle and the conversation drift, I again considered the earlier sensation of a presence in the woods. This is the last event I recall clearly.

I later regained consciousness in Hugh and Sara’s guest bedroom. I was properly tucked in. My boots had been removed and placed neatly beside the bed. It was early morning. I departed quietly without waking my hosts.

While exiting through the garage, I felt compelled, without clear justification, to check the refrigerator. The fridge, which had been fully stocked with assorted craft beers the previous evening, was completely empty.

No signs of forced entry were observed.

During the drive home, I arrived at the only explanation that satisfactorily accounted for all known variables. Beerfoot had been present in the surrounding woods, drawn by the combination of social gathering, open containers, and unattended alcohol. At some point, I was rendered unconscious, presumably to facilitate beer acquisition. Notably, care was taken to ensure my personal safety afterward.

While I am disappointed by the loss of my beer, I acknowledge that I was tucked into bed rather than left outdoors. This suggests a degree of consideration consistent with prior Beerfoot encounters.

Beer was taken.
No injuries sustained.
Dignity partially preserved.

Assessment:
Probable Beerfoot involvement.

Status: Filed
Credibility: Unconfirmed
Beer Loss: Total